I don’t even know where to begin, it’s been so long since I even used this space but I just needed somewhere to write my feelings and thoughts down .
I guess I’ll start with where I am now and to be honest that’s not a good place, “why??” You might ask, well I’m 37 weeks pregnant and my husband told me he wants a divorce 2 weeks ago, we have only been married 5 months.
There were no warning signs or anything to this before he said it and as far as I knew he still loved me. In fact he had said as much 3 days before and I’m having a had time understanding what went wrong in 3 days. You can’t just stop loving someone in 3 days….
Ive gone over it again and again in my head spoken to friends, my family, his family, his friends and no one can make any sense of what he’s doing. It makes very little sense to anyone, he’s even said that he doesn’t think our baby is his and doesn’t want to be there for him, knowing that I have always been faithful to him in our relationship. There’s no rhyme nor reason to any of it and my husband will not talk to me, neither in person or answer my calls (really mature for a man about to be a father😶)
Someone mentioned to me that it could just be cold feet about being a father and that once he sees our baby he will change his mind but Even if that were the case I think I wouldn’t take him back because neither me nor our child deserves this sort of pain that he has caused.
I’ve days where I’ll cry because on some level I’m scared my baby will look like him and that every day will be a painful reminder of how much he’s hurt us. How do you get over feeling this way?
how do you move on when you can’t get proper closure?
how do you go on knowing that one day your beautiful baby will ask you why you and daddy don’t live together and why they don’t see him and not being able to answer the question?
these thoughts go round and round in my head all day. Should I even give my baby the name his father chose or did he loose the right to name our baby when he left?
I’m trying to stay strong for my little one but I just feel so hurt and betrayed by the man I loved the most, to the point that I even wonder if he ever loved me and why did he even marry me? He hasn’t even given our marriage a fair trial it’s almost like it got a little difficult and he just couldn’t be bothered to try.
sorry for being such a downer on my first post back but like I said I needed somewhere to get the feelings out
thank you for taking the time to read and if you have any genuine advice I’d love to know 💖